Stand by your Man (or Woman)!

May 26, 2010 by thepranamama
Filed under Reflection

As moms, we spend so much of our time nurturing our children in hopes that they will do their best, challenge themselves and accomplish great things. We encourage and coach them every step of the way, lending an ear when they feel frustrated or disappointed that something didn’t go as they hoped, and celebrating achievements with hugs and high fives. It’s a normal part of parenthood, growing our children to be the best they can be.

But what about our partners? It’s often difficult to see the visions and dreams of another adult, especially when our focus is primarily on the kids. It’s important to recognize and support each other, even when we don’t fully understand or see the whole picture.

Three years ago, my husband had such a vision, and began a long process towards making his dream a reality. His dream: making wine. At first I thought it was just a hobby and it would just be for fun or for our own enjoyment. Little did I realize that he his vision included creating a marketable product – essentially, starting a side-business on top of our already crazy lives with a house, 2 kids, and 2 jobs. As I struggled with my own happiness in these difficult early years of parenting, I was not always supportive.

I cringed when he told me what a new piece of equipment would cost, or what it would take to appease the government when it came time for licensing. I didn’t have time to add on yet another responsibility, as his web designer, marketing assistant and receptionist. (You try sounding sophisticated answering the phone to an interested customer with a toddler pulling at your pant leg!).

But, thankfully, my husband kept his dream alive, and slowly I started to see this was not a dream that would just go away. He was not capable of pushing it aside simply because our lives were already too full. He studied, he researched, and he made it happen. In a few short weeks, our wines, under the name Salmon Falls Winery, will be released to the public. We have received some wonderful reviews, starting with today’s Portsmouth Herald story, and the upcoming Summer Guide of Portland Magazine.

To say I am proud is an understatement. I am amazed at his dedication while being a supportive husband and amazing father. Many nights he comes home from his day job, which often begins at 4 a.m. and includes 6 or more hours of driving to job sites all over New England, promptly begins helping me make and serve dinner, then completely takes over kid-duty with baths, books and bedtime rituals. Only after he returns from the second floor does he go to work in the basement, working at the winery, perfecting his product.

I tell you this story as a reminder to myself and to all moms and dads to take your partner’s dreams seriously. Never doubt their abilities, and do all you can to support them, even if it drives you crazy. The payoff will be a loving partner who returns this support and a level of pride you won’t believe.