Comments on: The Maze of Motherhood http://www.thepranamama.com/maze-motherhood/ Wed, 01 Feb 2012 02:47:22 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.4 By: The PranaMama http://www.thepranamama.com/maze-motherhood/comment-page-1/#comment-464 The PranaMama Mon, 22 Feb 2010 01:22:18 +0000 http://www.thepranamama.com/?p=1861#comment-464 Lisa, Thank you for sharing your story and insight. It's so important for moms to be open and honest with each other, so we can all support one another. You are so right about feeling alone when friends and relatives "seemingly love hanging out with their babies." Something I remember when I look back at my loneliness, is that this word "seemingly" is key - there are many moms struggling or not entirely happy, but they put on quite a show for others, because it's what is expected of us as mothers. I agree with you that there are probably far more moms who were unhappy or even depressed but no one ever noticed or cared to ask them how they were doing. Lisa, Thank you for sharing your story and insight. It’s so important for moms to be open and honest with each other, so we can all support one another. You are so right about feeling alone when friends and relatives “seemingly love hanging out with their babies.” Something I remember when I look back at my loneliness, is that this word “seemingly” is key – there are many moms struggling or not entirely happy, but they put on quite a show for others, because it’s what is expected of us as mothers. I agree with you that there are probably far more moms who were unhappy or even depressed but no one ever noticed or cared to ask them how they were doing.

]]> By: Lisa Flynn / ChildLight Yoga http://www.thepranamama.com/maze-motherhood/comment-page-1/#comment-463 Lisa Flynn / ChildLight Yoga Sun, 21 Feb 2010 23:09:44 +0000 http://www.thepranamama.com/?p=1861#comment-463 What a poignant post and comments. I think we should all write a book: The Real Truth of 2 under 2. My children now 8 and 7 are just 17 months apart. It wasn't planned, as I was still adjusting to being a new mom with my first! My family is filled with these amazing moms who seemingly loved hanging out all day with their babies and I too, didn't feel I could share my struggles, as that was not natural for me at the time. It's a pretty lonely place, indeed. Certainly the first two years were the toughest. Add to that a younger child with sensory issues (we couldn't go anywhere with noise, lights, etc. for the first year of his life), and well, you get the picture. I did have some support, but didn't feel safe in saying I wasn't ecstatically happy all of the time. I would have loved to have some classes like Itsy Bitsy Yoga or the like then. I think PPD is much more common than anyone realizes. My kiddos are also the best of friends these days and I love to see their bond in action. Just today, my 7 yr. son attended a birthday party and when goodie bags were handed out, he wondered if he could have one for his sister as he knew she would love the the particular contents. Then, he realized he could just give her his, which he did. ;) Thanks for sharing - and especially for creating a safe and sacred space for moms to be supported. Your honestly is enlightening and is helping many! What a poignant post and comments. I think we should all write a book: The Real Truth of 2 under 2. My children now 8 and 7 are just 17 months apart. It wasn’t planned, as I was still adjusting to being a new mom with my first! My family is filled with these amazing moms who seemingly loved hanging out all day with their babies and I too, didn’t feel I could share my struggles, as that was not natural for me at the time. It’s a pretty lonely place, indeed. Certainly the first two years were the toughest. Add to that a younger child with sensory issues (we couldn’t go anywhere with noise, lights, etc. for the first year of his life), and well, you get the picture. I did have some support, but didn’t feel safe in saying I wasn’t ecstatically happy all of the time. I would have loved to have some classes like Itsy Bitsy Yoga or the like then. I think PPD is much more common than anyone realizes.

My kiddos are also the best of friends these days and I love to see their bond in action. Just today, my 7 yr. son attended a birthday party and when goodie bags were handed out, he wondered if he could have one for his sister as he knew she would love the the particular contents. Then, he realized he could just give her his, which he did. ;)

Thanks for sharing – and especially for creating a safe and sacred space for moms to be supported. Your honestly is enlightening and is helping many!

]]> By: thepranamama http://www.thepranamama.com/maze-motherhood/comment-page-1/#comment-427 thepranamama Fri, 12 Feb 2010 18:32:02 +0000 http://www.thepranamama.com/?p=1861#comment-427 Summer: My youngest is 2 1/2 this week - we're in the home stretch!! Donna: you're the best, thanks for your positive insight as well! I didn't realize your youngest was the same age as my oldest. Summer: My youngest is 2 1/2 this week – we’re in the home stretch!!
Donna: you’re the best, thanks for your positive insight as well! I didn’t realize your youngest was the same age as my oldest.

]]> By: Summer http://www.thepranamama.com/maze-motherhood/comment-page-1/#comment-426 Summer Fri, 12 Feb 2010 02:26:03 +0000 http://www.thepranamama.com/?p=1861#comment-426 Amy, I felt the same way... wondering why no one ever told me how hard it would be! Not only did I, too, feel duped, I felt completely isolated as well. It seemed like everyone else around me was happy and content with their own situation. It almost seems like it's taboo to share your struggles. I've had two instances recently where I've had the opportunity to "warn" soon to be moms of 2-under-2. One mom was this sweet woman I met at McDonald's one day. She was hugely pregnant and trying to cut up some chicken nuggets for her 15 month old. I told her that I, too, had 2 babies close in age and she asked me to tell her the truth about how hard it's going to be for her. I told her that it's indescribably difficult for the first 3 years of the youngest one's life, especially if she has no family around to help her. Then I told her how wonderful it is after those 3 years are up. You kind of have to gear yourself up for the difficult years. Had I known how hard it was going to be, I know I would have handled it much better. It feels so good to be able to offer a little sound advice... I remember a couple of times when I was struggling with the 2 babies, and some stranger would say the simple words, "it gets easier," and I'd instantly feel better. There's nothing like hearing a kind word when you're in the middle of the most difficult time of your life :) You're heading down easy street now... have fun with your kids now that they don't suck every ounce of energy out of you! Summer Amy, I felt the same way… wondering why no one ever told me how hard it would be! Not only did I, too, feel duped, I felt completely isolated as well. It seemed like everyone else around me was happy and content with their own situation. It almost seems like it’s taboo to share your struggles.

I’ve had two instances recently where I’ve had the opportunity to “warn” soon to be moms of 2-under-2. One mom was this sweet woman I met at McDonald’s one day. She was hugely pregnant and trying to cut up some chicken nuggets for her 15 month old. I told her that I, too, had 2 babies close in age and she asked me to tell her the truth about how hard it’s going to be for her. I told her that it’s indescribably difficult for the first 3 years of the youngest one’s life, especially if she has no family around to help her. Then I told her how wonderful it is after those 3 years are up. You kind of have to gear yourself up for the difficult years. Had I known how hard it was going to be, I know I would have handled it much better.

It feels so good to be able to offer a little sound advice… I remember a couple of times when I was struggling with the 2 babies, and some stranger would say the simple words, “it gets easier,” and I’d instantly feel better. There’s nothing like hearing a kind word when you’re in the middle of the most difficult time of your life :)

You’re heading down easy street now… have fun with your kids now that they don’t suck every ounce of energy out of you!

Summer

]]> By: Donna http://www.thepranamama.com/maze-motherhood/comment-page-1/#comment-425 Donna Thu, 11 Feb 2010 02:33:52 +0000 http://www.thepranamama.com/?p=1861#comment-425 Love the analogy of the slide. My kids keep getting better as they get older. Now my 12, 10, 7 & 5 yr olds are the best! They are independent enough to get their own snacks, can even babysit and swim alone at the pool (except the 5 year old), have great extra-curricular activities where I get to cheer to my heart's content, are developing their own unique talents & gifts with amazing results. I keep telling myself to cherish these years, the baby days are gone, the teenage years yet to come. It is like a bubble in time, fragile and beautiful. I love being a mother. Love the analogy of the slide.

My kids keep getting better as they get older. Now my 12, 10, 7 & 5 yr olds are the best! They are independent enough to get their own snacks, can even babysit and swim alone at the pool (except the 5 year old), have great extra-curricular activities where I get to cheer to my heart’s content, are developing their own unique talents & gifts with amazing results. I keep telling myself to cherish these years, the baby days are gone, the teenage years yet to come. It is like a bubble in time, fragile and beautiful.

I love being a mother.

]]> By: The PranaMama http://www.thepranamama.com/maze-motherhood/comment-page-1/#comment-424 The PranaMama Wed, 10 Feb 2010 17:11:00 +0000 http://www.thepranamama.com/?p=1861#comment-424 What a thoughtful and reassuring comment - thank you Summer! It's really great to hear that you have never had any regrets and would do it over again in a heartbeat. I remember thinking, when it was so hard in the early days of having 2, "Why didn't anyone ever tell me it would be this hard?" I thought of everyone I knew who had similar or even closer spacing between siblings, and I felt totally duped. Now I realize everyone has their own experience, and I too, was suffering from PPD but didn't know it or want to admit it. Thanks, as always, Summer, for making me and other moms feel a little less alone! What a thoughtful and reassuring comment – thank you Summer! It’s really great to hear that you have never had any regrets and would do it over again in a heartbeat. I remember thinking, when it was so hard in the early days of having 2, “Why didn’t anyone ever tell me it would be this hard?” I thought of everyone I knew who had similar or even closer spacing between siblings, and I felt totally duped. Now I realize everyone has their own experience, and I too, was suffering from PPD but didn’t know it or want to admit it. Thanks, as always, Summer, for making me and other moms feel a little less alone!

]]> By: Summer http://www.thepranamama.com/maze-motherhood/comment-page-1/#comment-423 Summer Tue, 09 Feb 2010 02:40:58 +0000 http://www.thepranamama.com/?p=1861#comment-423 Amy... Believe me, once you've been through the h*ll of having 2 babies, you never forget. Every time I see another mom with 2 little ones, I ask her how she's doing. All I remember from those days is trying to live one moment to the next, and questioning why on earth I ever decided to have 2 babies close together. When I was in the middle of it, I just couldn't picture myself ever being normal again. The sheer exhaustion of trying to care for 2 babies sucked every ounce of energy out of me. Those were the most difficult and depressing years of my life. I only found out later that I had post partum depression, which explained some of the desperation I felt each and every day. I am very, VERY happy to report that as easy as you're finding it now, it'll only get easier! Yes, you'll come to bumps in the road, but nothing will ever compare to the first 3 years. As completely crazy as it sounds, I am actually so glad I had 2 so close together now that I've survived those early years. My kids are 9 & 10 years old now and have been best friends since my youngest was 3. They do all the same things, read the same books, watch the same TV shows, laugh at the same jokes... it brings such joy to my heart to see them so close and so devoted to each other. In hindsight, I'd do it all again and I wouldn't change a thing. I just wish I'd known then what I know now because I would have enjoyed their babyhood that much more. When I was in the middle of the misery, I couldn't imagine it ever getting easier and I was overcome with saddness and desperation. If I could, I would go back in time and tell myself that those years are so fleeting, that it does get easier and that those two beautiful babies will grow up and become best friends... but alas, when you're in the middle of it all, you can't see the forest for the trees and you feel trapped in the day to day struggle just to keep your sanity. Summer Amy… Believe me, once you’ve been through the h*ll of having 2 babies, you never forget. Every time I see another mom with 2 little ones, I ask her how she’s doing. All I remember from those days is trying to live one moment to the next, and questioning why on earth I ever decided to have 2 babies close together. When I was in the middle of it, I just couldn’t picture myself ever being normal again. The sheer exhaustion of trying to care for 2 babies sucked every ounce of energy out of me. Those were the most difficult and depressing years of my life. I only found out later that I had post partum depression, which explained some of the desperation I felt each and every day. I am very, VERY happy to report that as easy as you’re finding it now, it’ll only get easier! Yes, you’ll come to bumps in the road, but nothing will ever compare to the first 3 years. As completely crazy as it sounds, I am actually so glad I had 2 so close together now that I’ve survived those early years. My kids are 9 & 10 years old now and have been best friends since my youngest was 3. They do all the same things, read the same books, watch the same TV shows, laugh at the same jokes… it brings such joy to my heart to see them so close and so devoted to each other. In hindsight, I’d do it all again and I wouldn’t change a thing. I just wish I’d known then what I know now because I would have enjoyed their babyhood that much more. When I was in the middle of the misery, I couldn’t imagine it ever getting easier and I was overcome with saddness and desperation. If I could, I would go back in time and tell myself that those years are so fleeting, that it does get easier and that those two beautiful babies will grow up and become best friends… but alas, when you’re in the middle of it all, you can’t see the forest for the trees and you feel trapped in the day to day struggle just to keep your sanity.

Summer

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