I’ve Lost that Loving Feeling…

Last spring I began a new relationship.   After many years of sheepishly admiring from afar, something in me made me try one more time, and I charged ahead in hot pursuit.  To my complete surprise, my affection was returned, and I found myself head-over-heels in love with a strange, yet familiar, being.

Now, I know what you are thinking – I’m a happily married woman with two beautiful children!  How could I let my eye wander?  And who is this mysterious lover?

Well, I couldn’t help myself.  Yes, there were many nights when the kids were asleep and my husband was busy, and I couldn’t help but sneak out of the house for a brief but wonderful encounter with my new love.  I’d change out of my stay-at-home-mom clothes and put on something much more appropriate for our date.  I’d definitely have to change my shoes, as the wrong shoes would be an immediate turn-off.  I always made sure I had my iPod along for the perfect music to set the mood.  Last but not least, I’d pop my head out for a quick look at the skies above, as any amount of rain would surely ruin our outdooor rendezvous.

As soon as I was out the front door, I’d glance out of my driveway for my date coming towards me.  The music always helped our brief encounter start out on the right foot, and I’d say a quick prayer that the iPod wouldn’t run low on battery power.  We didn’t have much time to be together.  Soon the sun would set and my husband would be wondering where I’d run off to.   But the time we had together was oh-so-sweet.  I felt like a new woman!  I was alive, free and my heart would pound so hard, I’d wonder if I’d ever catch my breath.

We’d retrace the steps of our last encounter, or we’d explore new territory.  I sometimes felt self-conscious when including public areas on our dates, for fear a friend might see me and judge my clumsy steps or my flustered expression.  Our best times were the nights when we’d go off into the sunset on very quiet roads, with nothing but the ground underfoot and the wind in our hair.

Oh, the rush I felt, the love in my heart and the pride I had for my new-found love.  It seemed nothing could come in between us.  We were meant for eachother, destined to withstand any obstacle to our relationship!  Then came Summer…..

I never saw it coming.  I vowed to do anything in my power to work at this new relationship.  I was totally in love and didn’t want it to end.  But, like so many whose relationships wax and wane like the phases of the moon, I was unable to hold onto the passion.  Yes, Summer came between us.

I tried to argue.  I changed my approach and tried to relax a bit, showing my love that I was serious, in it for the long haul.  But when Summer arrived, schedules changed, vacations got in the way, the temperature soared, and even an evil virus attacked.  We lost that lovin’ feeling.

Oh, well, it was fun while it lasted, right?  Wrong!  After a few days of moping around, eating junk food and wasting time on my computer, I look at the calendar.  Here I am, staring down September 1st, feeling like I’ve got another shot at this.   I’m determined to regain the trust, the passion and the freedom that my Spring Fling brought to my life.  How can we make this work?  A great question – I am not exactly sure.  But I have a plan. And if all I can do is lace up my sneakers, give my legs a good stretch, take a deep breath, and put one foot in front of the other, my plan might just work.  If I succeed and my lover remembers to see me as the amazing woman I am, then I’ll do it again.

Don’t worry.  My husband knows all about it.  And he is nothing but supportive.  Yes, he sees what kind of relationship I have with myself when I am running regularly, and it makes me a much better wife.  So he will probably start arranging our dates for me.  Now as long as he doesn’t go and find someone else behind my back, I’ll happily take him up on the offer.

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