Gratitude and My “SuperDad” Husband

I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude this week.   I took a road trip to my father and step-mother’s house with my kids, but without my husband.  It was a mid-week visit, and so even though my parents are still working, they are more flexible with their schedule and it was easier to visit them during the week than a weekend in the middle of summer.  So my husband Andrew stayed behind to work and to get our yard ready for my son’s birthday party we held on Friday night.

We had a good time, but I was totally overwhelmed by responsibility.  Being on duty for 72 hours as a single parent, it hit me just how much I missed my husband’s helping hand.  While my parents are very helpful when it comes to entertaining their grandchildren, they don’t know them well enough to help with their routine.  They don’t know that my son can fall asleep in the car and still be transferred to his crib for a nap, or that my daughter likes to play a while before eating breakfast.  They certainly don’t come running to my side when one of them wakes up at 3am and can’t get back to sleep.  After all, they are grandparents! They have done their share of kid-duty.  They are now there for ice cream cones and trips to the zoo.

Even though I stay home full-time with my children and have primary caretaking duties during the day, Andrew all but takes over as soon as he walks in the door.   While I usually have dinner cooked or at least started, Andrew helps finish cooking and gets the kids to the table.  We always eat as a family, which I am savor now when they are young.   As soon as we are finished eating, Andrew plays with the kids and leads them upstairs.  I am left with the dishes, which I don’t mind as it’s the first peaceful time I’ve had to myself all day.   Andrew gets the kids bathed and ready for bed and puts both of them down, usually without my help.   This is the time I have to relax, go for a run or practice yoga.  It’s a great way to unwind from a the stresses of the day.

Not only is Andrew fantastic on weeknights, but I am used to having him right by my side on the weekends, and especially when we are visiting someone else’s home and we get out of our routine. He and I work like a well-oiled machine.  He doesn’t need to be asked to help get my daughter’s attention away from her coloring when it is time to eat dinner or to change my son’s diaper.  He doesn’t do a whole lot of sitting around – he is usually just as busy as I am, if not more!

Friends and family marvel at his level of participation in parenthood and tell me how lucky I am.   Usually, I respond with “I know, but how could anyone do it any other way?”  Andrew and I both shake our heads in wonder when we see other dads sitting around, relaxing while their wife runs herself ragged keeping after the kids.  Still, I needed this road trip to remind me of how helpful my husband it, and how lucky I am to have a partner in parenthood.

This Sunday morning, it is Andrew’s turn to sleep late.  He really deserves it after all he did for the birthday party and a very busy Saturday at a family reunion.    I think back to the last few days and I smile,  feeling grateful to have him by my side.  Yesterday we teamed up against my sisters and their husbands to win the family game of bocce (lawn bowling).  First prize was a night out on the town: dinner and babysitting included.  Maybe it’s no coincidence that we won, seeing what a good team we make day in and day out!  I’m so excited to get out alone with Andrew, and tell him how grateful I am for his hard work, his love and his share of parenting duties.

Practicing gratitude is a lesson we teach in children’s yoga classes.  You can do this at home with your own kids as well.  Start a gratitude journal or a family “thank bank”.  Every day write down 5 things for which you are grateful.  A thank bank is like a piggy bank, but instead of coins, you put small notes of gratitude through the slot.   It’s fun to look back at your journal or thank bank and smile at all of the things that make you happy.

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