Christmas Presence

OK, I admit it.  For all of my thoughts about wellness and suggestions for ways we moms can make time for ourselves, this month finds me feeling like a failure.  I’m totally not living up to my own standards.

Three weeks ago I wrote about Tapas (discipline), and vowed to train for a New Year’s Day 10k.   I had just done another holiday race, a 5k on Thanksgiving Day, and must have still be on that incredible high that comes from both the physical and emotional challenge of running a road race with a thousand others.

Fast forward … it’s now less than one week before Christmas, and I couldn’t be further down on my to-do list.  Yes, I am the one who announced I would put myself at the top, by forcing myself to make time for training, yet I have simply not kept my own promise.

I’m usually a very disciplined person.  When I set my mind to something, I usually stop at nothing to accomplish it.  So, this month, as I watched the hours of each day fly by at lightning speed and my opportunities to work out dwindle with each passing day, I was surprised to find myself accepting the present for what it is:  Christmastime.

Why did I think this month would be the time to put myself first?  In this season of giving, perhaps I was acting the part of the Scrooge.  Christmas is about family dinners, visiting Santa Claus and driving around the neighborhood after dinner to be dazzled by festive lights and decorations.  It’s about hot cocoa and baking gingerbread and making ornaments.  Most of all, it’s about our children, and making the weeks leading up to Christmas as magical and as special as they can be.

As most moms are put into extreme overdrive this month, we all need time to ourselves.  We need to stop the baking, shopping, volunteering, hosting, etc. and just sit with our feet up.  Exercise would be a wonderful bonus!   But to tell the truth, as much as a run 3-4 times per week would have improved my energy, mood, and ability to burn off the inevitable excess calories, I don’t want my children to remember Christmas as a time for Santa, Frosty and Mommy on the treadmill.   It’s much easier to put those feet up and enjoy a quiet moment by snuggling on the couch while reading The Polar Express.

In a week’s time, Christmas will be over.  We’ll be thinking ahead to the New Year and vowing to start a whole new exercise plan.  There is a famous saying, “Why put off until tomorrow what you can accomplish today?”  The way I see it, the magic of Christmas as seen through the eyes of a child is my reason for putting off another road race.

It seems something is shifting in my formerly overwhelmed and underappreciated state of mommyhood.   I’m accepting the present for what it is, rather than trying to change it to suit my expectations.   I can’t think of a better Christmas gift.

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