Are You Your Toughest Critic?

This weekend I write from the beautiful Litchfield Hills of Northwest Connecticut.   It’s a perfect summer weekend, and we’ve spent more time in the water than out!   I love visiting this beautiful town where my husband grew up and we were married nine years ago.

Whenever we visit, I always attend a class at my favorite yoga studio, Yoga at Space, with the amazing instructor Sarah Getz.  As a yogi who mostly practices privately, I enjoy the opportunity to experience new challenges and insights.  Sarah’s soothing voice leads the class into each posture with careful, thoughtful intention.   An hour and forty-five minutes allows the student to completely release the mind and body into the practice.  I leave with a feeling that I have been in another world, a world where no one exists but myself.

Sarah also provides a quiet, light-hearted atmosphere, and yesterday, her words struck me deeply.  Throughout this intermediate-level class, she reminded us to smile and “play” with each pose, as some of the more challenging postures elicited groans and grimaces.  Her words came at the perfect time, for as I stood discouraged on my mat, frustrated that I could not attain the bound, balanced pose I was attempting, Sarah reminded us that the focus of our practice should not be whether or not we can “do” the pose.  Instead, we need to give ourselves credit for the process, the confidence, and for having the confidence to “play” with it, and the ease of mind to accept our limitations of the present moment.  What a refreshing reminder, amidst a room full of strangers, each doing their best to attain the proper alignment, balance or depth of the asana at hand.

It was at that exact moment that I turned my frustration and disappointment into positive energy and pride for even just being in class.  Ahimsa, the first yama of Patanjali’s basic guidelines for living, was the lesson of the day.  Ahimsa translates to “nonviolence,” and includes not only physical harm, but also judgement and harmful thoughts.  Both on and off the yoga mat, I sometimes compare myself to others and criticize myself for various things or actions unattained or undone.

Are you your toughest critic?  What good comes from beating ourselves up for not being perfect?  If we were to walk around this earth having everything, doing everything well and completely lacking in challenges, what kind of life would we lead?

Instead of judging myself against other yogis, parents, athletes, women, I will take careful observation of my own strengths and weaknesses, create my own goals and objectives for the kind of person I want to be, and above all, look at everything as a game, or an adventure – remembering to play and be content with each day, for all of its ups and downs.

I’m not exactly sure when I’ll be back in town to attend another class at Yoga at Space. But my dropping in to the studio has become a ritual when visiting, just as is swimming in the lake or getting out alone with my husband.   I’m sure Sarah will challenge me with a new pose (balances are my weakness!), or new thoughts to enlighten my spirit.   And this is what yoga, and life, are all about.   Why not just “play with it?”

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