And Miles to Go Before We Sleep…

Ahhhhhh.  I am sitting down for what could honestly be the first time in three days.  It’s been one of those non-stop social weeks, the kind that makes for great memories but can totally wipe you out.   This has been the first stretch of sunny summer weather we’ve had all season, so naturally, we had to make the most of it with playdates, outings, road trips and parties.  Summer has a magical way of getting us out of the house and excited to meet up with good friends.  Before long, we’ll be shut in our homes in the dead of winter, longing for our friends and the carefree fun of summertime.

But how easy is it for us Moms to overdo it?  If you’re like me, you want to get out there and take every opportunity for inexpensive, uncomplicated, family fun.  You don’t want to be the “party pooper,” even when you find yourself nearly falling apart at the seams.  This happened to me yesterday.  After returning home from an exhausting three-day road trip alone with my little ones to a relative’s home, all I wanted to do was collapse on the couch.  I felt I could sleep forever.  I was dreading the idea of firing up, packing diapers, sweatshirts, snacks, etc., driving 15 miles away to the summer theater production of Grease, and staying out with the kids late.   But I had promised my daughter, and my friends were expecting us and it was planned for weeks.  And so we went, fought the crowds and parking issues and finally made our way to the spot on the grass.   We were greeted by smiles, hugs and good conversation.  And so, once I was there, sitting next to the ocean and under the stars, enjoying the show (my show was watching my 4-year-old daughter mesmerized by the acting on stage) I felt alive and extremely blessed to live in such a beautiful place with such wonderful friends.  I would not have wanted to miss this anything – certainly not for a lousy night on the couch!

Why is it that we can’t just say no, and listen to our body’s need for rest and recovery from each social event?  Maybe it’s because from pregnancy aches and pains, through labor and delivery, to the first night we spend with our brand new babies in the world, we put our comfort and well-being aside in favor of our children’s.   We are conditioned to believe that we need to sacrifice ourselves in order to nurture our kids physically, mentally and spiritually.  We learn to ignore our body’s or mind’s signals that something is not working well, and instead of pausing or reflecting, we just keep going to keep everyone happy.

But at what cost?  Tonight I sit here writing as fast as I can because I am fading fast.  I’ve only had about 5 hours of sleep per night for the past couple of weeks, on average.  (Part of this is to be blamed on my 2-year-old son who is just wild and crazy, ready to go in the wee hours of the morning.  Part of the blame also falls on my shoulders as I stay up far later than my body would like.  I just can’t seem to “waste” my precious adult-only time on silly sleep!)  But as a recent Brigham & Women’s study has stated, sleep deprivation can lead the mind to express negative emotions and to remember bad experiences much more often than good ones.  This is the epitomy of the crabby mommy who is up half the night with her infant, up at the crack of dawn with her toddler and still has to put herself together for the office or that next scheduled playdate outing.   She’d rather just go back to bed and lock the door!  But of course, we Moms wouldn’t do that.  Instead we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and run to the finish line!

And after repeating this cycle four or five times, you’ll start to feel exhausted, run down and possibly sick.  When you are feeling this way, you cannot be good mother.  I know!  My youngest child was extremely difficult to sleep-train, and I was walking around like a zombie most days in his first year.  I also had a two-year-old who was just starting to figure out how to test me.  I can tell you, I definitely remembered the bad experiences far more often than the good!  I think it would be fair to link sleep deprivation to depression in new mothers, at least in myself.

Moral of the story:  fit in the amount of rest you need to keep going throughout your summer.    If you are feeling worn out, don’t be afraid to change plans or back out of something gracefully.   Just let your friend know that although you’d love to meet up with them at the zoo or the beach, but that today is not going to work, and try to reschedule a time that would give you some wiggle rom on either side.  Ultimately, you are in charge of your own schedule.  If you let it take over your life, no one in your house will be happy!

Related posts:

1. Off the Mat Moms-Lesson 4: Tapas (Discipline) Now that Thanksgiving is behind us, it’s time to...
2. Gratitude and My “SuperDad” Husband I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude this week....

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.